Heaven is wherever you are~ That’s why i am here. I can barely live my life without S was what I thought as soon as her departure, even earlier. Frankly, that’s not me who screw his life and waste the grace sent from Lord. My plan was collecting mental , moral support from friends, parents as more as I could. however, that wasn’t happening… The dark moment came up, I wound up getting a part-time job as a helper of chef in a restaurant. At the beginning, i totally disappointed, almost lost my mind and scarcely could picture the outline of my future.
( I have worked in the several restaurants. With time went by for 3 years, I’ve yet swamped in! What does it mean? No ability improved, technique acquired ? Have I idled in those years? Am I still goofing around now? Is it the way God plan to me? Why those doom just burst right after her departure? Is it sort of waking me up from the fantasy? blar blar blar Tons of pointless questions as if the programming I couldn’t grasp kept showing up line by line until I understood Father’s grace. )
My milestone is I cut my fingers 5 times in the first 3 days, 2 for lobster ,3 for knife. My healthy problems was in a alarm. I sprained my left ankle , my face got coarse, and eventually immune system broke down,which led to my belly running badly.The surrounding of my workplace was really awful, dirty, noisy and too warm. In particular in the restroom, the temperature was freaking cold as morgue triggering my allergy frequently. Every time I opened my eyes from nap in the afternoon, the tiny creature, also known as cockroach, would pass by with greeting and tell me Time for dinner! ( Grose, thanks! little fellow!) Concerning about meal, it’s for free ,also one of employee welfare. The dinner mostly are made of the rest of lunch. And it’s to greasy to my digestion system. I witnessed many ridiculous things happened over and over and utterly couldn’t get along with others, I was wearing a silent, grumpy mask instead, this behavior also meant ” I’m already a mess now, and don’t wanna interrupt more.” Nevertheless, there is a life, and there is a hope. The things I found glad and thankful to myself is I read Bible in any possible, vacant moment. It helps~ Then everything goes well through the reading day by day , night by night ,in the horrible restroom, on the bus , while queuing for anything~
I did ask a lot in my mind and thought about her in every given moment. while all the things have been solved as soon as I delivered my prayer like” Father, please take away my heart and comfort it. I won’t wonder so much as before. Though I can’t understand any changing moment perfectly, I’m absolutely aware of where the destination is. the heavenly home. Guide me through the Spirit to the grand way of my career where I can excel to worship you. Send my heart the person meant to assign for me, Amen”
Now, it only left 5 days to work before my next amazing plan~ Indeed, this year was so fantastic to put in words. I was lying I could live up with those grace due to those grieve. Whereas I can do it right now, and meanwhile something sorrowful still remains but remind how I made it and how it is. Thanks Father! You help me go through the tough period by taking the shortest time.
In the last, with my beautiful queen’s pics, we went to market in the morning and purchased piles of foods. She always wanna make the best dish for me~ As long as staying in the hometown, I’m reluctant to let her deal with any errand. We just finished half of Transformer 4 (she is a big fan of Mark Wahlberg and Matt Damon), she was exhausted, but the most time acts like a innocent, pure girl~ i guess it’s the grace from you, too~ Father?!